..but after considering this repeatedly, thought it was more than appropriate...
two bodies, intertwined, wet with sweat, chocolatey skin against chocolatey skin, rubbing, grinding, stroking, glistening against candlelight, no delineation between where one ends, and the other begins...
a sista is horny, yes. but also hungry for something more.
about a week ago, i tried to muster up some lust for someone. dialed thru my mental rolodex - nothing. scrolled thru some "popular images", trying to create some tension in the nether regions...
morris chestnut? uhn-uhn
boris kudjoe? nope - nothing
taye diggs? michael vick? allen rossum? d'angelo? ghostface killah? no
chi mcbride (who bears a strong resemblance to JC)? not even a quiver...
resigned, i figured I'd hit an it's Pat/Chris moment in my life, and that with my busy schedule that was normal. Renouncing the idea of the maintenance dude, and considering celibacy (or at least rechargeable batteries & a new 404 Girls video) as a viable option.
on another note, them chicks fronting like they're new to the game is really annoying in light of how quickly they end up having every orifice available filled, ok? but i digress...
Celibacy Now!...well, until Mia and Diva both turned up with boyfriends? that they met online? They're both beautiful, but I've had enuff of internet dating to last a lifetime.
until i met heru. And rethought the process.
see, what I'm hungry/horny for is not sex. not in the strictest sense. i miss intimacy. i-n-t-i-m-a-c-y. see, most people can neither distinguish nor draw similarities between the two, so let me tell u what it means to me.
it means long, slow kisses that last three days. it means breakfast, lunch, dinner, then maybe breakfast again, in bed. it means sending me wildflowers (not roses) just because i like them. it means cooking u spinach saute, because i know u like it. it means...
i like the taste of ur sweat-drenched skin, because i like u.
and we don't run to the bathroom 1st thing in the morning, because we know what kinda dragon breath each other has in the morning. we've smelled that before, remember. my bedhead is cute on me, and ur wrinkled clothes look perfect on u. it means ur thinking gets me hott, and my compassion turns u on. it means butterflies in pit of stomach, and lumps in throat. just because.
there was a time, when i was deeply in love with someone, before JC, and the FL drama, that I was in love with Sadat, and he was in love with me, that I was addicted to the smell of his armpits. i mean, he was much taller than i, so chances are when we slept together, i'd end up nose to pit in the morning. they never smelled bad to me, and even after him playing basketball - i'd love that smell. that's what it means to me...
it means that we have safe, passionate, unbridled, freaky a$$ sex, because that intense, drawn out orgasmic moment, drawn long and stretched over time as long as possible, when ugly faces are made, and our control is totally lost, is more important than me getting mine, before you get yours. the sum is greater than the individual parts.
it means building...more than an encounter...more than an episode...more than the immediacy of our selfish needs...it means investing enough time and effort to get to know a person to create anticipatory tension that makes u want.....more....
and for any brother that's trying to get at me, reading this, thinking "that's one freaky a$$ chick"...i get a lot damn freakier with time. trust me. oh that is SO sincere, but again i digress..
i am hungry for that, that more...wanting to connect with someone on more than a superficial level, for more than a day, or a long, drawn out one-night stand. i want to be in like.
...i want chocolatey, horizontal sweat...
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